My heart strings.

While of late this blog has taken a philosophical view on life in general, as I work hard to implement the new skills and desires into my daily actions, this is still, after all, my personal blog.

Today, the Sabbath, I write what is in my heart.

I have been so very blessed to have the life I live. It has not always been easy. I spent the better part of my childhood and early adult life depressed. I attempted suicide on 4 separate occasions. No one knew or cared. I spent the entire night on the bathroom floor vomiting and in agony, all I wanted was someone to come slide my sticky hair off my forehead and tell me they loved me. But I stayed there alone, heartbroken, and feeling like a failure.

So lucky and blessed that I was not successful. Because although my life is far from easy, or pain-free, I am abundantly happy & blessed.

I have the privilege to bear 6 children, and the honor to foster/adopt Claudine and her son, Dante. These two, while not of my womb are so tightly knit to my heart. I think of them every day, I pray for them every night and I love them as if they were my own.

I love.

That is what I do, and if I see someone or something that needs loving, I do it.

I spent so many years of my life wondering if anyone loved me, that I make it my mission to leave each child in my home keenly aware that I love them.

I want each child, not matter how big or small to KNOW they are special, they are unique and no one can replace them.

I love.

I open my home, and my heart to those who seek it. I happily give of my resources to 'outsiders' and make them feel like insiders.

Right now I have an extra child in my home. He has a family, a mother who loves him, I do not want to discount what she is to him. He Loves His Mother. But for whatever reason he needs a safe place to land each day. He has slowly come to be a part of our crew. He has his own chore list, and responsibilities, he loves, teases,plays, argues, and annoys just like the rest of them. He has chosen to be a part of our family, even if it is not permanent he is here now. I will give him all I can for as long as he needs it. My heart is attached to him, for we know that when we serve, we love. I love this son, and hope and pray for the best for him whatever direction he takes.

I am thrilled to say we will be having a baptism in our building Feb 9th. 7:30 p.m. Come if you want to see who is taking to the baptismal waters. It is not my announcement to make, I will allow the participants to invite and tell whomever they choose.

For now understand this, my heart is driven to help others, to serve others and to lift others. It is my greatest desire to love.

I know I fall short, I have let my responsibilities slip, and I pray I will have the DEDICATION to choose the best path. Each and every day.

I wear it on my sleeve, and always plan to. Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings. Looking forward to each new adventure as it approaches!

Time to Believe.... Part 7 ACTION JACKSON!

NOW GO!

DO!

ACT!

Do not be a part of the 99% that learn, read, search and know. but do not do.

It is like the dietitian KNOWING what is healthy, and choosing Fast-Food anyway (Which I Do occasionally)
It is like the Financial Counselor knowing how to invest money, and grow his portfolio and he goes into debt instead.
Or the Yoga instructor who never practices that Adho Mukha Svanasana.

knowing is HALF the battle.

DOING is the other half.....

So go!

GO NOW!

Get on with it......

Time to Believe.... Part 6

OK, since this path is NOT a short one... and you have spent at least a year in educating yourself, becoming the expert and allowing yourself to enjoy the journey. You have humbled yourself and learned all you can about your area of interest.

Now comes the fun!!

TEACH what you have LEARNED!

Now give back to others, offer to share what you know, what you love and why it means so much to you. Make that joy contagious. Maybe others will not lose it AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

But share anyway... some portion of what you have learned will be the nugget of information that is vital (VITAL) to someone else. IF you keep it to your self.... your not using those God-Given talents their full glory.

TALENTS?! You say..... WAIT a minute, I had to work LONG & HARD to become the expert, to learn all I can and to have this much knowledge, that was WORK, not TALENT!

yep. Your right, your absolutely right.

And God gave you the TALENT of loving that subject and the TALENT or Gift of Knowledge.

Now share it. You TRULY only know what you know...when you can teach what you know. The Student becomes the teacher and the knowledge becomes a PART of you!

teaching is the greatest gift, honor & privilege! So share it!

Time to Believe Part 5...Seek out mentors

So you have realized who you are.
And you have studied all you can.
Now you are ready to move onto the next level, you are BOOK SMART but lack experience.

So this is the part where you HUMBLE yourself, you accept that you only understand in THEORY your area of expertise, and you find someone with VAST experience and working knowledge on what you have chosen.

Find a Mentor.

Sounds difficult. Maybe. But most people who are the experts in their field enjoy SHARING this passion & JOY! They WANT others to love what they love, and so when they see a eager, young(or older), energetic individual that has shown such interest in what they have interests in...they are typically THRILLED with the opportunity to share in that passion.

So use a little flattery, (for them) and a bit of humility (for you) and ask them to teach you. Be willing to learn however they offer to teach, if that means you will be scrubbing toilets for the first 3 months of your apprenticeship (because they have not had the time to get around to it....) then ACCEPT that JOB! WORK like you have never worked before.... in the end you will gain their respect and TRUST and they will gladly impart all their wise advice and experience for your benefit.

be an ASSET to them!

Be patient, Be Kind, Be humble, Be HUMBLE and be WILLING to WORK for it!

(in the end it is pretty fun......ENJOY the JOURNEY!)

Proclamation of Imperfection!

Proclamation of Imperfection.

What does this mean?

It means I openly and honestly admit to you, my friends, readers, fans, and supporters.

I AM NOT PERFECT.

I share on here the words and thoughts that INSPIRE me! I am not preaching, I am sharing, I am not condemning, I am growing, I do not profess to be perfect, or the Example to others... in only way can I be an example. that is my DESIRE to do GOOD.

I have weaknesses and issues abounding in my life, If I were to list all of them....alphabetically it would take up at least 36 pages and a WHOLE lot of time....

BUT I will say this. I have been asked & Encouraged to share the HAPPY & UPLIFTING times and thoughts of my life. and this I attempt to do here. With you as the recipient (whomever you are...)

I am weak, but I get back on that horse every day. (OK maybe not EVERY DAY) some days I just stayin my PJ's and lament at my weaknesses. but then I get a most glorious thing. a Phone call from a friend, business partner or mentor, asking me to be a part of something BIGGER THAN MYSELF!

AND THE FIRE IGNITES ONCE AGAIN.

And so I go on. Plugging away at not only my TO DO LIST, but my TO BE LIST!

I aim to BE a friend, and a help to those I meet, near & far. I AIM to be a GREAT mother and wife, I AIM and fall short of these tasks.This I share with you, not because I am making excuses, but because I feel VERY strongly that only through admitting our weakness can we be made strong.

and another thing. YES I am totally DEPENDENT on spell check. It is not that I Can't spell, it is that I am lazy. Yep I said it I am LAZY.

Good day. Good Luck, and thank you for allowing me the indulgence of professing my weaknesses to the world.(Thanks Tarryn!)