Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I have been moved to tears many times this week, sometimes it is adoration and LOVE for my family.

Sometimes it is the Love I feel from my Savior, and today it was a bit of confusion and frustration.

I know what i am to do with my life.
I understand my callings. I am COMPLETELY willing to accomplish these tasks, and to grow and learn, sacrifice and achieve. Some days I just don't even know where to start. Or what is the next step to take?

I only have some many resources, one issue is I have a Suburban, (Which I appreciate) that i drive to the clinic once a week, eventually twice a week, at 8 mpg. It saddens me that I waste a resource as precious as gas....
I would love to have a diesel (veggie-Car) I paid my fees for a clinical trip to Dominican Republic, I applied, paid and I am waiting back to hear if I have been accepted to attend.

Then the research for adoption continues, just as I feel like I have solidified my decision, and we are ready to move forward, I hit a brick wall. Something like signing a statement of Faith.... (Do I believe in the Holy Catholic church?)


I have only had luck getting ONE agency to return my calls..... is it Because we have a large family?
I just don't know. So I want to put it back on the shelf. cry a few times a year over the feelings that I am disappointing my Father in Heaven, in not accepting more children into our family.

I feel like I am letting Him down....

and I'm not getting any younger.....

Friday, March 25, 2011

Trainings, Education, Work, Sacrifice.

I have once again made my list of tasks and goals.... and I am running everyday to accomplish this list.

Schooling, Kids and myself.
Helping Neighbors and Friends

I have crashed into bed 3 days this week thinking I couldn't get any more exhausted. and I am loving it.
I appreciate the Midwives group in KC for allowing me to learn and grow in the clinic.
Someday I will start my intellectual writings of what I have learned, for now.... I just keep my eyes, ears and mind open and keep running!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Living, Loving and moving right along...

If I can survive 4 teenagers, I can survive anything right? I ADORE my daughters, but its just not fair they have to grow up. (well, for that matter, my sons too)

But These sweet, innocent faces are... morphing... into adults....and it stinks.

I pray everyday that we can maintain a loving relationship through this challenge.

Just keep praying

just keep praying

Just keep praying