Friday, July 20, 2012

Reflection & Epiphany

I do believe I have come full circle in the past 24 months. In May of 2011 I attended a Humanitarian Medical trip to the Dominican Republic. It was a beautiful, awakening time. It brought out the fierce passion I have for serving and being active.
It woke within me a greater desire to be in the community and SERVE. I am ALIVE when I am serving.

I then came home with such a PASSION for service, and a desire to make a DIFFERENCE in the world.

I moved from midwifery when it was creating such a conflict within my family, I dive into things and give it 110%. the time it was requiring of me was taking its toll on my sweet family, my youngest children especially were struggling. So I took a back burner to midwifery and threw myself into other activities. One of which was business coaching, I absolutely LOVE encouraging and planning, helping others to find ways to make their dreams come true.

I met some incredible people during this adventure and gave of myself once again 110%.

Unfortunately the businesses or individual who NEED my service were the exact ones who were not able to PAY for that service, and part of me is OK with that, Part of me just loves to GIVE. but when I have given ALL of my time (and gas money) to others, and there is a pile of bills waiting for me at home, and a neglected home, car and farm, then the reality that I can NOT afford to give 110%  hits me square in the purse.

I look forward to finding others who will benefit from my passion and drive, I look forward to meeting the associates that can see VALUE in my service.

Here is the epiphany.

the ones who I am IRREPLACEABLE to....are the ones under my very own roof.

I may be great at marketing (because I enjoy it) and I may be Wonderful at research & development, (cause I am)

BUT I am IRREPLACEABLE to my children, and to my husband.  NO ONE can do what I can do in my own home.

The VALUE of MY time invested into my babies, toddlers and teens is worth more than any job, investment or dividend can offer.

In my heart I know this, always have, but in my ego I seek out the public appreciation for my God-Given gifts.

I KNOW the Spirit put into my heart that I am to be a MISSIONARY in the MARKET PLACE. what better way to do this than to RAISE my children in Righteousness and Obedience.

I resolve to devote ALL my talents to this temporary state, and to teach, nurture and enable MY CHILDREN to SHINE where ever they may be that WE may GLORIFY our Father in Heaven.

I have not given up. I am working just as hard as always, you just may not see the fruits of MY Labors for a long, long time.

I has resolved to continue to encourage ALL MOTHERS to learn HOW to enjoy their divine role as MOTHER, and what SKILLS they can use to magnify this Godly role.