February 8th 2013
More than a month as passed since I left my family and entered the unknown.
I have slept without my babies, my comforts for 6 weeks. I miss my children fiercely, but I know they are taken care of, fed, loved and safe. For this I thank my Heavenly Father and my earthly parents and in-laws.
When we counseled with our agency about the possible issues during the adoption, corruption was never mentioned. We never imagined the level of deceit that we would be faced. Living amongst the beautiful people of Liberia, I am starting to get it.
For almost 20 years these same faces had to run, hide and survive day to day with murder, war and starvation.
For more years than many of them lived in peace, they lived with the visual of children, mothers and fathers being slaughtered before their very eyes.
Some of the stories you hear make your stomach hurt. Some infuriate you, but if you listen, and try to have an understanding of what has shaped their character, their resolve and their future, you can understand how the grey area becomes so wide.
These beautiful people had to learn HOW to survive, beg, steal and borrow. They had no choice but to hide in the hills, to disguise their tiny babies in the bush, to dodge the bullets, machetes, and the rebels. The kinds of atrocities that occurred on a daily basis would change any person. NO matter how deeply convicted they started out.
I am by no means justifying their actions, and I do not plan to work with these people that do not know anything but lies and corruption, but I am beginning to understand. My heart is moved with compassion, pity for the men and women that came out after this terrible war with the views of right and wrong completely skewed.
Let us ALL evaluate what life experience we have that encourages the same.
What breeds mediocrity, laziness, and gluttony?
What is it in each of US that promotes the character traits that allow us to slide far from the man or woman we are destined to be, and become those that average efforts, and average rewards are ‘good enough’
Good enough is never enough, I beg you to consider to look into YOUR heart (as I gaze into mine) and grasp the qualities of Honest, Brave, Respectful, Hard working, Faithful, Integrity, Respect Charity, Obedience, Virtue, Courage, Honesty, Leadership, Accountability, Self control, Delayed gratification.
Where am I lacking, where can I improve. Where am I rationalizing my actions based upon my personal experience that is keeping me from attaining these qualities?
I had a powerful experience yesterday that once again reminded me that I am doing the Lord's work.
I am fighting a battle for a valiant spirit, that Heavenly Father Knows and Loves. Peter will grow up to be a great man a leader, and an honorable example.
I am blessed to be his mother.