Church Unveils a New Program!

Church Unveils 'Slow-Track' Program

SALT LAKE CITY

In order to better meet the needs of 'our most average members,' church
representative Howard S. Jeppeson announced the creation of a new
slow-track membership program. 'This program caters to those members of
the church who may not be top-level celestial material but who are still
willing to put in a nominal effort toward their own salvation,' he said.

The slow-track program includes the same components of normal church
membership, but at a more relaxed pace. Members who sign on for the
program are required to read scriptures and have personal and family
prayer once a week, attend church once a month, visit teach or home
teach four times a year, and watch one session of general conference
every other year. If slow-track members can commit to these requirements
for five years, they can earn a temple recommend stamped with an S for
'slow track,' after which they are expected to attend the temple
semiannually. According to Jeppeson, the church may create a shorter,
condensed version of the temple ceremony for S-track members 'in order
to better accommodate those members' shorter attention spans and lower
levels of ambition.'

Social historian Jane Schippen, PhD, a long-time scholarly observer of
Mormon society, hails the new slow-track program. 'Mormonism pays a
great deal of attention to its high achievers, like those who are stake
president before they turn forty or women who have eight children and
maintain a spotless house,' she observed. Similarly, she continued,
'Mormons spend a lot of time and energy worrying about those on the
other end of the spectrum, the less-actives.' She sees the slow-track
program as 'a way to acknowledge and honor the vast majority of Mormons,
those who will never hold high positions of leadership but who are
nevertheless active - the sloggers, if you will.'

Logan Stake president Gary L. Hackett agrees with Schippen and says that
the new slow-track program 'will prod the lazy ones into progressing at
least a little bit, which is an improvement.' He estimates that
implementing the slow track will cut administrative tasks, such as
nagging phone calls to complete home or visiting teaching, by as much as
75 percent. 'It's about time we recognized that not everyone in the
church is that top ten percent of the celestial kingdom material,' he
notes. 'And, really, that's okay. I mean, the bottom two levels of the
celestial kingdom are supposed to be pretty good too, right?'

Most members seem happy with the soon-to-be-implemented system. 'Let's
face it,' says local member Larry K. Whiting. 'I'm not cut out for this
high-paced, pressure-oriented Mormon lifestyle. I mean, home teaching
four families every month? The scheduling alone takes way too much time.
And then I have to go over there and pretend I care about these people
when I'd rather be home watching ESPN? Give me the slow-track program
any day.'

Local member Kendra Koenig agrees. 'Do you know how much fun it is
trying to roust five kids out of bed for family scripture study and
prayer at 6:30 AM? I am sick to death of nagging them about it, and you
can believe it's not doing our family harmony any good.' She praised the
slow-track system for offering a more realistic temple-attendance
schedule. 'Like anyone who has a life can manage to get out there twice
a month? This slow-track program is the answer to my infrequent
prayers.'

One Elders Quorum President read this announcement to his Quorum. He had
so many wanting to sign up that he had to tell them it was just a Joke!

Article by Amy Chamberlain
Design by Tres Larsen

Interesting link on the comparison photos of Joseph

http://www.heraldextra.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=166

Pictures day!

We got our order of 75 new chicks (this is only half of them)




They started out in the warm garden room, the slowly moved farther away (they stink!)


My growing garden!

We had FHE on the property, with a fire & dinner.. we had lots of fun


This photo is speculated to be Joseph Smith, the only known photograph of him, the Church is working discovering its origin and finding out if it is authentic. what do YOU think?

Decisions are sometimes overwhleming

I have been running around searching for hte best price on Low-E Argon gas windows, originally we were going to get them in UTAH when we were visiting, we did not get that arranged in time, so now I have been scouring the earth for windows and I need to save a bunch of money.

We bought a New PELLA door on craigslist. If you have never used craigslist before, you should check it out! A free online classified listing with everything from jobs, used merchandise to NEW DOORS! ;)

SO now I have this beautiful 15 lite solid argon gas door, and I really would like 3 more to match.My basement has room for a french door, but they are running upwards of $1300.00! YOWZERS! we have $1000.00 budgeted for all 3 doors!

My front door I want to be solid wood, with windows in it I found a nice one yesterday at MENARDS. so hopefully Wes agrees and I can be done searching!

My good friend from High School got married yesterday! I am so happy for him. I hope he finds all the happiness you can find in a union . I know he will make Christ the center of his relationship, and he will adore and care for this sweet girl he has made his wife.

Speaking of Christ!!

I was sent this link by my dear friend whom I have the privilege of visiting teaching:
Sheli C. sent me this... enjoy, I Have.

There is a hole in the ground....