Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Words of Wisdom from a Young Father....

This is freakin hard! Wow. Don't get me wrong. I love my son and my wife dearly.That is why I am home right now. My wife has been very sick so I have chosen to stay home and work from home, pick up on the house duties and allow my wife to rest. She sleeps most of the days. She's beautiful even when she sleeps.

My son, a ton of fun. 2 years old and all over the house. He wants my attention so he closes my laptop, messes things up and is constantly asking for a drink but when we get to the kitchen he doesn't want one. Hmmm, he's a pretty smart guy.

I have mad respect for my wife, my mom, my sisters, sisters-in-law and all the women who sacrifice their careers, the kudos from the office, the honors of a job etc. to be at home with their little ones.

IT'S NOT EASY! I go from working out in the morning, meetings, more meetings, building business, accomplishing the 'honors' in the office to doing laundry, doing dishes, cleaning, sweeping, folding laundry, forgetting I have laundry in the machine (so i have to wash again) to changing Zion 5 times a day, bathing him.

Laina (My wife) I love you. My wife went from making a killer income with a company to staying @ home and taking care of baby. How do you do it? How does any mom do it?

For all the mom's and grandmas and ladies who have done this, Thank you.

I will express more appreciation for her and when I come home from the gym or practice or work, I will hug her, kiss her and tell her what a great job she has done in our home. Not that I haven't been grateful. But man, this is no joke of a job. Full time mom at home.

Today(Wed 2.11.09) I made my wife and son breakfast, changed Zion twice, folded laundry, swept the kitchen, put clothes away, switched laundry out, played with Zion, did ABC's with Zion, played monsters and hide and seek with him. How do we find time to study, work, write in journal, work on callings etc. It's only 2:25 PM

I know the more I do this the better I can get at it. There are no accidents, only lessons.
Thank you Lord for teaching me many lessons over the past week.

Mr. Mom

Lesson #2

After a week of playing Mr. Mom by the weekend I was spent. Exhausted, tired and some serious 'ahas' going through my mind.

1-It's challenging to be a stay at home mom especially if you worked and had a job/career/purpose in the workforce. You don't get all the adult interaction anymore like in the office or workplace.

So HUSBANDS-you need to make sure you give your wife the kudos and acknowledgment and pats on the back for ALL she does.

2-Laundry, diaper, cleaning, laundry, diapers, cleaning, cooking and loop this. . . .can get really boring. Women need to have their own time everyday whether it's the gym, a get out with friends etc. My wife gets to play bball everyday and although in the past i wanted her to have these times, SHE ABSOLUTELY NEEDS IT for her and her peace of mind. She has a city league bball team that is very good. This is one of 'her' things. I also love when she wants to do coed vball or have her own vball teams or anything to allow her to use her creative mind and resources, not just for changing diapers.

Husbands, make sure your wife has 'her time'. Find a way to make it happen. she needs to have time to improve her mind, her body, her likes, hobbies etc.She needs to also feel ALIVE like she has a life outside of the home.

I have a good friend who is in charge of Luau's and teaches hula classes and she has 4

Figure out how to help your wife find this time and passion. it will make her a much better mommy and wife at home.

3-Helping out. Husbands, we must help out. We must come home, have our wife relax and pick up toys, play with the kids, do laundry, iron clothes, clean the kitchen(holy smokes I'm a master dishwasher, sweeper and counter cleaner after one week because I did it like a million times in one week)

Express your deepest gratitude for your wife as well. I tell my wife every day, every night how grateful I am (AND THEN BE SPECIFIC) for her doing a great job with the laundry, the cleaning, with baby, with taking care of me etc. etc.

Don't be like me in the past, come home, wonder why my shirts weren't ironed and why there is laundry that hasn't been done yet and then I just jump on the laptop and say "I have to work for us." hehe. What a clown I was.

Help out daily! take the kids to church mutual, church ball, the store, for a drive etc.

4-Perfecting the system-At first I just went about from chore to chore and was easily distracted with whatever urgent fire came about whether it was Zion spilling the box of cheerios on the floor or laundry left in the machine for too long (had to wash again). Now I have the schedule down. MAKE A LIST and have fun doing it.

I know how to get a lot done in my work. Now I just applied the system to being Mr. Mom. Make a list, put it in order, do the things first that require time (laundry) and then do other things while laundry is going. After one week I am much better. Today I already cleaned the kitchen, changed and fed Zion, worked on my book, etc.

At least 4 vacations are needed a year. They don't have to be long ones. Just a quick weekend getaway, a night in a hotel with full service and a nice dinner. As soon as Stake Basketball is done, we're outta here for a nice long weekend. I don't know where just yet but we're taking one this first quarter!

The Saga Continues. . . Mr. Mom, Highland, UT

Chronicles of a Mr. Mom-Part 3
Monday, March 2, 2009 at 11:56pm

It's been three full weeks of doing laundry, cleaning kitchen (like twice a day at least) shopping, watching Zion 24/7 and taking care of my wife.

Being a stay at home mom is the job of jobs! The first week was good and then tough. The second week I found myself exhausted. By the third week it was all business from there. Just habits, sweeping, changing diapers, making breakfast, cleaning etc. etc. etc.

What did I learn this time through? The lesson was simple-Keep pressing forward!

When I'm working with partners in the office, or meetings with investors there is such a fulfillment because I can actually see progress,accomplishment and I receive income and compliments etc. Even playing football its easier to get compliments from family, friends, fans, the newspaper etc.

As a stay at home mom or dad, dang, you only get recognition from your spouse IF they remember to give it to you. Your children don't really give you big thanks especially when you're raising little ones. You clean, laundry, cook, change diapers, hep kids with school work, clean, do laundry, cook, change diapers, help kids with school work etc. I've just had to PRESS FORWARD and keep moving forward.

So for sure I've learned

A) Us Husbands MUST take our wives out of the house for a date night at least twice a month. Get a baby sitter and get our wives to something where there is no diapers to change, no cleaning to do, no cooking to do etc. DATE NIGHT. . .DATE NIGHT. . DATE NIGHT. . . HELLo. . DATE NIGHT! Sure we're tired from working in the office but dang, it' nothing compared to being at home with little or no adult interaction and doing so many menial tasks.

B) Compliment your wife relentlessly. You need to recognize ALL the great things they do. If you come home to a messy home, tell your wife how wonderful she is and then clean up! Say thank you for EVERYTHING YOUR SPOUSE DOES! Three weeks of being Mr. Mom has seriously taught me.

Instead of asking what's for dinner, ask "What would you like to eat for dinner honey?"
Instead of getting mad about your clothes not being in the right spot DO IT YOURSELF WITH JOY?
Instead of wondering why your wife doesn't want to work out at the gym as much, you stay home all day and see how much energy you have to go and then work out.

C) STEP UP and TAKE OVER. I know us men are the Producers, the Bread Winners, the Providers, but come one, do your laundry to lighten the load. Cook breakfast and dinner at least on Sunday and on Saturday. Think of ways to create value for your wife so you can lighten her load. Clean the house, vaccuum, sweep, take the trash, GO THE EXTRA MILE and then do it again!

Sunday is my day of cooking. Saturday is the day we eat out. For the last three weeks I have cooked all our meals. So yes Dominoes Pizza and KFC have been so helpful.

I've been doing the dishes for three weeks now and I only have me my wife and my little son. Holy Smokes! It gets frustrating to wash dishes, counters, sweep, clean microwave over and over again. Step up and take over. Help your wife!

I'm so freakin exhausted! No wonder why our wives get tired and exhausted and might nag us. They need a freakin break, vacation and our love!

Make no mistake though, I absolutely love doing it and spending time with my wife and son. I am grateful that I am an Entrepreneur so I can stay home and handle my business in the home.

"No success outside the home can compensate for failure in the home."

Peace out!
Mr. Mom

Chronicles of Mr. Mom-How to Have the Most Productive Day When you have a million things to do.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 7:21am
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I can't tell you how many times in my life that when I have been organized, meaning I clearly saw in my mind what I wanted to accomplish, how I was going to accomplish it and then moved forward, well, those are the times I have been most productive.

Even in my business life I set a plan, have clear cut objectives, then set out with a plan of action on how to be most productive and I accomplish so much more.

Staying at home as a Mr. Mom is no different. But silly ole me wakes up, and then jumps from one task to another, with NO plan and by mid day it seems like I haven't done a thing.

So this is how I've gotten better at being effective and productive at home.

1-Be clear on your attribute objective for the day. For example-find one attribute and focus on being that during the day. Patience, or love, or listening. Just know through your whole day focus on your attribute. Some of the attributes I have chosen are PATIENCE, JOY IN THE JOURNEY, GRATITUDE, LISTENING, If you choose in the beginning of your day to increase this attribute the Lord will help you and you can choose in moments of stress to stay focused.

2-Have a vision of all that needs to be done. Laundry, cleaning, deadlines, meals, bathe kids, city league game, church calling, exercise, vacuum, nap, etc.

3-Write it down. Yes, write everything down. If you think you can be effective without writing it down, YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF! There is just too much to do and without writing it down you'll jump from task to task or whatever 'seems' most urgent. Write it down on a paper, white board, your phone etc.

4-Organize your list for effectiveness and productiveness. This morning I decided I am going to have more gratitude and perseverance. My list includes laundry, shopping for food, deposit at bank, vacuum our house, dishes, gym, work on book, work on system, church calling, find domain name for system.

So I plan the day with my list-I threw a load of laundry in already, ate bfast, and have the day pretty much laid out. I start with some powerful reading and studying in the morning to get me started right. I call it Beginning my day in the tops of the mountains. Imagine beginning YOUR day in the Tops of the Mountains with a spiritual experience of connective with your creator.

5-Go with the flow-things won't always work out according to plan so go with it. Review your list and make adjustments as necessary.

6-ENJOY THE JOURNEY-If your perspective is "I have so many things to do" then your day is seriously gonna SUCK! If your perspective is "I am grateful I can become a better person, serve more and live in this great country" then everything you do in the day is just part of the journey. It's just part of being a mom, a dad, a spouse etc. It's part of the Game of Life.

It is work and hard work at times but if you'll plan, prepare, choose and move rather than being a victim of all you need to do, complain and whine, you'll jump out of bed when you hear the OPPORTUNITY CLOCK (not the alarm clock) and say I LOVE MY LIFE!

"Everyone dies, not everyone really lives."

Are you going through the motions of life, or are you really living on purpose?

If you are getting pulled in every direction from all the responsibilities you have, TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT THE DIRECTION YOU ARE HEADING. Live on Purpose!



Kari said...

Setema's saga has been interesting to read. Don't you wish All young fathers were as insightful as he is? BTW, Matt is great at this. I'm glad I'm not the only lucky one. He lets me leave once a week at least for my time. I was impressed Setema said every day.

Phogles said...

I want the link to this! Must read, must share!